


Coming of Age

by kisahawklin



Category: Alexander (2004)
Genre: Author's Favorite, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-09
Updated: 2005-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-02 23:17:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hephaestion dreamed of Alexander. He did not dare believe Alexander dreamed of him too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming of Age

Hephaestion started to dream of Alexander when he was thirteen. It was usually symbolic, some message from the gods as to how exactly Alexander should be cared for. It was unnecessary, as Hephaestion understood intuitively how Alexander should be treated, and on occasion how he _needed_ to be treated.

Sometimes, though, Alexander beckoned to him in his dreams, still naked from the gymnasium, eyes alight with mischief. The dreams ended there and Hephaestion woke breathing harshly with a vague heaviness in his groin.

Hephaestion would turn away from Alexander after waking, ashamed of his lack of control. Alexander would never be bothered with such frailties. Hephaestion would lay on his side, listening to Alexander's peaceful exhales and breathe in opposition, imagining their breath intermingling and becoming sustenance for both. The uncomfortable sensations would eventually go away, and he would fall asleep again, only to wake in a few hours when Alexander was ready to start the day.

At first the dreams were rare, maybe once a moon cycle. As the months passed and Alexander had taken to sleeping with some part of his body in contact with Hephaestion's, the dreams came almost nightly. Hephaestion was less and less able to calm his body and lost more and more sleep. After a few months he couldn't hold his temper, even with Alexander.

"It's not fair, Alexander," Hephaestion whined, one afternoon when Alexander wanted a foot race.

Alexander pulled his head back, surprised at Hephaestion's defiance.

"You've never minded before."

"I have. I've just not told you."

Alexander's eyes widened and Hephaestion immediately regretted his outburst. Before he could say anything more damaging, he ran off, hoping Alexander would not follow, for once. He didn't run far; he knew the only way to outrun Alexander was not to try. He weaved in and out of alleys and buildings, finding a dark niche among several urns that would hide him if Alexander had managed to follow him this far.

He breathed shallowly, listening for any sign of Alexander. He sighed in relief when it was evident that either Alexander had not followed or Hephaestion had lost him in the twists and turns of Pella.

Hephaestion rested his forehead on his knees and wept with frustration. He didn't know how to remedy his situation. He couldn't stop sleeping with Alexander, but neither could he continue without sleep. Cassander, who already despised Hephaestion, was picking fights and Hephaestion's sleep-deprived wits left him defenseless. Alexander always stood up for him, but Hephaestion had split Cassander's lip one day out of spite.

As Hephaestion sat, drowsiness stole over him. He decided to sleep, hoping it would bring clarity to his thoughts and present a solution to him.

When he woke, he had missed the setting of the sun and it was dark. His stomach rumbled, and he felt the stiffness in his muscles from being locked in one position for hours. He stretched and stood, feeling more off balance than before he had slept.

He wandered back to his father's house, where he had not slept since Alexander had invited him to stay. His mother looked up at him but said nothing when he entered, and Hephaestion went to his rooms without comment.

As he pushed open the door, he saw Alexander sitting on his bed. He tensed to run, and Alexander stood.

"You'll not lose me again."

Hephaestion debated the possibility of escape briefly, but forced himself to stand his ground instead.

"Where have you been?"

Hephaestion shrugged, not meeting Alexander's eyes.

"Hephaestion. Answer me," Alexander demanded, and Hephaestion sighed heavily, knowing explanation was inevitable.

"I fell asleep. I was hidden."

"Very well, apparently. Where?"

Hephaestion brought his gaze up slowly to challenge Alexander. "Can I not have a place of my own?" He swept his hand around his room, and Alexander's stance softened slightly.

"That's not why I wanted to know."

"It is," Hephaestion countered. "What would you have done if you had found me?"

Alexander dropped his eyes and conceded the point. "You still have to explain. What is the difference if I found you there or here?"

"I have had time to quiet my mind and sleep, both of which I've been unable to do of late."

Alexander took a slow breath and Hephaestion waited, knowing Alexander was struggling to find the perfect way to phrase his next question.

"Do you wish to sleep alone?"

Hephaestion's legs suddenly lost their strength, and he grabbed the door to avoid falling. That was not the question he had been expecting.

"I..."

Alexander let him struggle, waiting for his answer. Hephaestion rested his back against the door and slid down slowly, feeling for the floor with his hands. Still Alexander stood in the center of his room, and Hephaestion shook his head to try to clear the vision of him as a statue, cold and unfeeling yet somehow sorrowful. He stared open-mouthed, willing Alexander to understand.

"You must _tell_ me, Hephaestion. I want to hear you say the words."

"I don't want to sleep alone, Alexander."

Alexander didn't move.

"What, then? I don't understand."

Hephaestion let his torso fall over his legs, tears of frustration wetting the floor. "I can't sleep, Alexander, I dream..." His voice faded and the tears continued. "I can't bear to be apart from you, but I can't sleep when you are near, either. It is killing me, Alexander."

With his confession, Alexander was at his side, stroking his hair and shushing him soothingly.

"Dearest Hephaestion. I know your dreams. You think I don't wake when you wake? We are bound, dear one. Incomplete one without the other."

Hephaestion released a breath of relief and let himself fold into Alexander.

"I am sorry," he whispered.

"And I. We shall see what to do about these dreams." Alexander rose and lifted Hephaestion lightly, leading him to the bed.

Alexander stripped Hephaestion and set him down on the bed. Hephaestion immediately curled into a ball, turning away from Alexander, who was removing his own chiton.

Alexander slipped into bed behind Hephaestion, pulling Hephaestion back against his chest, resting his cheek on Hephaestion's shoulder. Hephaestion closed his eyes tightly, desperately wishing he could stop his heart from hammering so loudly. Having Alexander's body curved in behind his own, their skin touching from shoulders to calves was enflaming beyond endurance. Not only would Hephaestion be unable to sleep, he would be hard pressed not to touch Alexander inappropriately.

As if he had read Hephaestion's mind, Alexander skimmed his hand from Hephaestion's wrist to elbow. Hephaestion's breath stopped and he caught Alexander's hand with his own, entwining their fingers. "Alexander, don't," he pleaded.

He felt Alexander's smile as his cheek shifted against his shoulder. Alexander twisted his hand out of Hephaestion's grasp and set it on Hephaestion's ribs, strumming them while he hummed tunelessly. Hephaestion's body curled, ticklish, and he pressed back into Alexander.

Alexander laughed and brought his knee up to the small of Hephaestion's back while his hand moved down to grasp Hephaestion's hip. Hephaestion gasped and rolled away, resting on his stomach and turning his head to glare at Alexander. "How is that supposed to help me to sleep?"

Alexander smiled indulgently and stroked Hephaestion's back, making him shudder and then blush for his lack of control.

"Alexander, you hurt me. Please stop."

Alexander's face clouded. "Hurt you? How?"

Hephaestion finally reached out, caressing Alexander's cheek with the back of his hand. "Do you not understand?" He trailed his fingers down Alexander's neck and let them rest lightly on Alexander's chest. His mouth was dry; he licked his lips before he continued. "I want more than I can ask."

"You never ask for anything, Hephaestion," Alexander answered. "Ask me for this."

"Would you ever say no to me?"

Alexander's eyes tightened as he tried to grasp the meaning behind Hephaestion's words. "Of course not. I could deny you nothing."

Hephaestion dropped his hand to the bed and he turned his head away.

"What _should_ I say? I don't understand what you want."

"Exactly, Alexander."

Alexander was losing his temper; Hephaestion could feel the frustration roll off him. He closed his eyes, unwilling to be brought to tears for the third time today.

"Alexander, I don't want you to _indulge_ me. It's not something I can ask for, it's something you must give."

Alexander sighed dramatically. "I think _you_ misunderstand, Hephaestion."

Hephaestion pushed himself up on his elbows, looking down at Alexander. Alexander, who was always smaller than him, who looked younger but acted older. He hung his head when he realized his instincts had failed him. He had been concentrating so hard on suppressing his own nature he had missed Alexander's subtle hints. He laughed brokenly and gathered Alexander close in a crushing hug.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and stroked Alexander's back between his shoulderblades. Alexander pulled away, meeting Hephaestion's eyes.

"You never have to apologize to me," Alexander said as he finger-combed Hephaestion's hair.

Hephaestion disagreed, but knew better than to protest. He put his hand around Alexander's neck, feeling Alexander's pulse flutter against his fingertips. He traced a path down Alexander's chest, counting his ribs, then ran his flat palm over Alexander's belly, laughing softly when he heard Alexander's breath catch.

Hephaestion spread his fingers and reversed direction, splaying them over Alexander's hip and following the curve around to the top swell of his buttock. Alexander's breath caught again, and encouraged, Hephaestion continued his study of Alexander's skin. He closed his fingers and traced the pads of them over Alexander's buttock and down the back of his thigh. Alexander gasped as Hephaestion brought his hand around the front of his thigh, nearly spanning it with one hand.

"How do you outrun me with these skinny legs?" Hephaestion teased.

Alexander snorted out a breath in reply, unable to speak.

Hephaestion pressed his palm flat as it traveled down Alexander's thigh. He cupped Alexander's knee in his hand, squeezing his fingers between Alexander's thighs and pulling them up slowly, listening to Alexander's ragged breathing and feeling Alexander's muscles shaking under his hand.

Alexander's hands gripped Hephaestion's shoulders and the sparks of pain were like flowers blooming in the background of his concentration. When Hephaestion slid his hand up to grab Alexander's erection, Alexander fell back against the bed and groaned. Hephaestion took advantage of the position, plastering himself to Alexander's side, half on top of him. He grasped Alexander's cock and was careful to not press too hard. Alexander threw his head back and Hephaestion's eyes grazed the incline of his throat.

Alexander slid his hands down Hephaestion's arms and he covered Hephaestion's hand with his own. He guided Hephaestion's movements, adding pressure and rhythm. Hephaestion felt his own erection press against Alexander's hip and dipped his head to rest it on Alexander's shoulder. The sunshine sweet smell of Alexander's skin made Hephaestion bring his mouth down to taste it. His tongue flicked out and licked a small patch on Alexander's collarbone.

"Oh!" Alexander cried and turned his head so the tendons stood out on his neck. Hephaestion licked those too and smiled at the undignified moan he coaxed out of Alexander. Once he had tasted skin, he could not stop. He wanted to see if the rest of Alexander tasted the same as the sweet spot where his neck and shoulders joined.

"Hephaestion, please," Alexander whimpered. His entire body had begun to shake. Hephaestion tasted his way down Alexander's torso, letting his hand relax and accept Alexander's guidance. He awkwardly moved his body to accommodate the path of his mouth, until it became evident there was no way to move until he could free his hand.

He loosened his grip, and Alexander moaned "No…" Hephaestion chuckled and ran a soothing hand up to Alexander's mouth, where his fingers were kissed.

"Shhh, Alexander, let go. I want to try something else."

Alexander let go, tangling his hands in Hephaestion's hair. Hephaestion shifted, separating Alexander's legs and kneeling between them. He curved his back to taste Alexander's hip, lifting his face enough to breathe on the wet skin, eliciting more moans from Alexander. He gripped Alexander's pelvic girdle with both hands, letting the sharp hipbones bite into his palms. He licked a stripe up Alexander's cock and closed his eyes to savor the salty taste on his tongue and the sound of Alexander's incoherent mutterings.

Hephaestion licked again, this time swirling his tongue over the top. "Hephaestion," Alexander whispered, lifting his shoulders off the bed in an attempt to reach him. "Hephaestion, please…"

Hephaestion flicked his eyes up to Alexander's and Alexander arched backward until his head rested on the bed. Hephaestion swept his hands under Alexander's back, supporting him in his graceful arch. He took Alexander fully in his mouth then, and heard Alexander gasp and call his name. Hephaestion pursed his lips and dragged his mouth along Alexander's cock, and Alexander pushed up even more, exhaling in tiny huffing breaths.

"Hephaestion, Hephaestion," Alexander begged. Hephaestion swallowed Alexander's shaft again and was surprised when he felt it pulse and fill his mouth with slick salty liquid. He pulled his mouth off Alexander, rolling the liquid around on his tongue before swallowing. He felt Alexander's weight settle into his hands and he lowered Alexander back to the bed lightly. He lifted one knee over Alexander's, straightening his body along Alexander's side with their thighs entwined.

"What does it taste like?" Alexander asked.

Hephaestion knit his brow in concentration and rolled his tongue in his mouth. "Salty. Slippery."

Alexander rolled onto his side, pushing Hephaestion onto his back. He kissed Hephaestion, gingerly poking his tongue into Hephaestion's mouth. Hephaestion gasped and Alexander curled his tongue, reaching the roof of Hephaestion's mouth and then his teeth as he pulled his tongue back. Before he pulled it completely out of Hephaestion's mouth, Hephaestion lifted his tongue to meet Alexander's and they circled tentatively.

"Alexander," Hephaestion whispered, more question than statement.

"Yes."

Alexander knelt, his knees at Hephaestion's hips, and looked down the length of Hephaestion's body, already half a head taller than his own. He followed his gaze with his hands, brushing them feather light over Hephaestion's skin. He traced his fingers lightly over Hephaestion's thighs and back up, Hephaestion rocking his hips up into Alexander's touch.

Alexander smiled, pleased to hear Hephaestion beg the same way he had, pleased to watch Hephaestion's body push into his hands. He skimmed the skin of Hephaestion's arms, chest, and neck. Hephaestion chased Alexander's hands with his own, trying to trap them but failing. He soon gave up and mirrored Alexander's hands, touching Alexander exactly where Alexander was touching him. He shook Alexander's concentration, sometimes for seconds, sometimes for long moments.

In one of the long moments, Hephaestion took over the lead, pulling one hand down the long strip of skin from Alexander's ribs to his thigh. Alexander stopped everything and Hephaestion took his free hand and covered Alexander's, moving it along his side until Alexander picked up the game.

"No," Alexander whispered and Hephaestion took his hands off Alexander as if he had been scalded.

"No, show me _here_," Alexander said, and set Hephaestion's hand on Hephaestion's own thigh, opposite where Alexander's was resting.

Hephaestion felt his skin flush and tried to protest.

"No, Hephaestion, you are entirely too distracting. Show me what you want."

Hephaestion swallowed his embarrassment and closed his eyes. He ran a shaking hand up his torso, ending in his hair, and felt Alexander's fingers searing his skin on the other side of his body. He smiled impishly and brought his fingers to his mouth. Alexander followed and Hephaestion opened his eyes to watch Alexander's face as he sucked on Alexander's fingers.

"Hephaestion," Alexander whimpered, and crooked his fingers up as he pulled them out, dragging them along the roof of Hephaestion's mouth. Hephaestion raised his chin, trying to keep Alexander's fingers until the last possible second. His eyes sparkled with mischief and Alexander pursed his lips in annoyance.

"You are a minx. Stop teasing."

Hephaestion bit his cheek to keep from laughing. He closed his eyes again, dragging his hand over his face slowly and forgetting to breathe as Alexander lovingly traced his features. He turned his head just enough to kiss Alexander's palm and dart his tongue out, causing Alexander to gasp.

Hephaestion continued, stroking his chest and pressing up into Alexander's fingertips as he did the same. Hephaestion twirled his fingers over his own belly, tangling his fingers with Alexander's when they copied his. He locked eyes with Alexander as he pushed their entwined hands lower, lower. He let go of Alexander's hand just as he had taken a firm grip of Hephaestion's cock, and threw his head back on the bed with a thunk.

"Hephaestion!" Alexander cried, and Hephaestion grabbed Alexander's wrist to keep his hand there.

"Don't! I am fine," Hephaestion cried, unable to lift his head. "Please, Alexander, don't stop."

Alexander obliged and stroked Hephaestion, and Hephaestion fisted his hands in the sheets and released them, fist and release, fist and release. Before long Hephaestion could not keep his hands to himself, they itched for the feel of Alexander's skin. He pressed his palm on Alexander's chest and circled his fingertips on the skin there. Alexander closed his eyes to concentrate and Hephaestion trailed his hand down Alexander's flat belly.

Alexander had grown hard again and Hephaestion gripped him as best he could, given the odd angle of his arm. Alexander sighed his approval and Hephaestion matched his pace to Alexander's. He was fighting a losing battle, and soon his arm became tired. He tried to turn sideways, shift to find a better position, but Alexander blocked him with a forearm across his chest.

Alexander leaned forward, covering Hephaestion's body with his own, giving Hephaestion something to grasp but nothing that could impede his concentration. Alexander pushed a knee between Hephaestion's thighs and Hephaestion lifted his hips up against Alexander's hand which was caught between them now. Alexander placed a kiss on Hephaestion's collarbone, where his head had come to rest.

Something in Hephaestion broke then, and time seemed to slow as every breath and shift of skin was almost painfully exquisite.

"Alexander," he breathed, locking his hands on Alexander's hips. "Please," he whispered.

Alexander let go of Hephaestion and Hephaestion watched, unable to do more, as Alexander pushed himself to sitting, bringing his knees alongside Hephaestion's hips and pressing down against Hephaestion's erection. Hephaestion curled his shoulders up in response, grabbing at Alexander with scrabbling hands.

"Alexander, please," Hephaestion wailed. "Please, I can't… please…"

Alexander placed a kiss on top of Hephaestion's head and lifting himself off Hephaestion enough to grasp Hephaestion's cock and kneel above him.

"No, Alexander!" Hephaestion cried, grabbing Alexander's waist and lifting him. "No, please."

Alexander tilted his head back and to the side and Hephaestion's heart dropped into his stomach. "No," he whispered again.

Alexander simply patted Hephaestion's cheek before lowering himself onto Hephaestion. Hephaestion made a little sound in the back of his throat which turned into a moan as Alexander continued his descent, his nostrils flaring as he pulled in air. Hephaestion's hands still pressed upward on Alexander's waist, trying to keep Alexander from hurting himself, or overwhelming Hephaestion, which might cause him to hurt Alexander in his passion.

Alexander threw his head back and tipped his hips, letting Hephaestion take more of his weight. Hephaestion was satisfied for something to divert his attention from the unbelievable feeling of being inside Alexander, _his_ Alexander.

Hephaestion's arms strained to take Alexander's slight weight, and Alexander let his head fall forward, breathing raggedly through his mouth.

"Strong Hephaestion."

"Alexander?" Hephaestion worried at Alexander's glassy look.

"Mmm," Alexander hummed and dropped one hand to his own cock. Hephaestion's gaze followed and he groaned as he felt a weight shift in his pelvis.

Alexander's weight was entirely held by Hephaestion now, and he wondered at how light Alexander seemed. Hephaestion bit his lip in concentration as he squirmed, trying to keep his hips from moving in time with Alexander's hand.

"More, love, you can give me more," Alexander whispered, his voice rough. Hephaestion lifted his hips, pressing into Alexander as far as he could. His breathing became very shallow and he held Alexander as he lowered his hips and Alexander with them.

Alexander folded forward, his shoulder meeting Hephaestion's waiting mouth. Alexander moaned and put his free hand down to push himself up and away from Hephaestion.

"Hephaestion," Alexander breathed, stroking himself and inexpertly attempting to move his hips in some kind of rhythm with his hand, "Help me."

Hephaestion grasped Alexander's hips and guided him in a rhythm that he could manage. He gripped tightly, not allowing Alexander to push harder - he was determined to wait. Hephaestion tipped his head back, tensing his muscles and using every ounce of strength to keep himself under control.

"More, Hephaestion, please," Alexander whined after a few moments of carefully controlled thrusting.

Alexander's voice struck something deep in Hephaestion and he increased speed, thrusting his hips up to meet Alexander's downward curve. His skin felt alive, buzzing with anticipation. Three thrusts, four…

"Alexander," Hephaestion's voice sizzled with uncontrolled breath. "Please, Alexander, please…"

Alexander hummed and rolled his hips, taking over the rhythm as Hephaestion arched up and away from the bed, losing his hard-won control. Hephaestion kept his eyes open, determined to see Alexander to completion, but he need not have worried. Alexander came only a moment after Hephaestion himself.

After two deep breaths, Alexander looked down at his seed on Hephaestion's stomach and traced a path with his fingers up to Hephaestion's mouth, marking him.

Hephaestion licked Alexander's fingers and laughed. He lifted a limp Alexander off him and rolled so they were lying next to each other, each on his side.

Alexander petted Hephaestion's face and smiled blankly. Hephaestion ran his own hands over Alexander's arms.

"Alexander?"

Alexander came back to himself and looked in Hephaestion's bright eyes.

"Don't ever run from me again, Hephaestion," Alexander said, the soft tone of the words contradicting the command.

Hephaestion held Alexander's gaze until Alexander was satisfied. Then Alexander kissed Hephaestion briefly and pushed him onto his back to nestle his head in the hollow of Hephaestion's shoulder.

"Always yours, Alexander. I am always yours."

Hephaestion felt Alexander smile in response and then the heaviness that came with Alexander's ability to fall asleep in mere moments settled on Hephaestion.

_My Alexander,_ Hephaestion thought as he noted the grayish light of the sky that heralded Apollo's coming.


End file.
